90_RELL #pleasetellmewhy dese lil lenox niggas fake tried to run down on us lol

Not even sure where to begin with that one.

My tuesday was spent entertaining the many people of West Hartford and surrounding areas with some yummy food.  Yes, I’ll spare you the details.  But on the lighter side, I was able to reconnect with some high school friends that I literally sat and talked with since the last time I saw them in high school 6 or 7 years ago.  I was about 10 minutes from not even seeing them because I had planned on leaving and cutting myself early, but I wanted to help out a bit more around the restaurant, so by chance I saw two people at the host stand studying a menu and went up to them and much to my surprise it was, to me, the newly wed couple from high school.  It’s amazing to me how everything works out sometimes and where people end up and how they reconnect.

I have started watching movies I haven’t seen in a while again, awesome nostalgia.  My father collected comic books, I collect DVDs.  I hope to pass this collection on to my own son.

Whats trending?:

Vagina Cupcakes (buzzfeed): Now, I’m a man who appreciates a nice one, but there is nothing less appetizing than looking at an array of vagina that is edible, no matter how much you love said reproductive organ.  But don’t take my word for it, see for youself.

Greatest Picture Ever? (buzzfeed): Now, of course it’s photoshop, and I have no clue what the fuck they were thinking, but it very well could be because there is nothing funny than an obese Asian, call me a liar.

Lebron (twitter): I think we can all admit that this guy is a freak of nature in all aspects of the word.  From his athetic ability to his physical appearance in general.  The guy literally breaks every law of gravity each time he enters the air/atmosphere to dunk and/or block a shot.  There should be a rule against Lebron James’ blocks.  The guy will literally camp out and wait for a lay-up, charge in and slap it off the court.

side note: is the king’s son in Braveheart gay? i noticed the strange that him and his adviser exchange. stupid question, but could use the answer.

The times of endless working should always be followed up with a time of seemingly endless play.  If not, then you are doing something wrong.  Bring a friend along, or perhaps two, three is sometimes best.  While Thursday night was occupied with a movie, Friday marked the beginning of one the most eventful weekends in months.  Friday night, “J” arrives to kick of the weekend with some beers at the local pub around the corner from my house.  They offer many different kinds of beer here, THANK GOD, so I order the Harpoon Oyster Stout, and mini burgers.  Dinner, check, beer number one, check, good people, check.  “B” decided to come out with us as well.  I haven’t seen him in some time either.  The hostess at this local pub, “D,”  is one of the coolest people I know.  Some number of beers later she joined our little shindig in the corner and contributed to the mindless banter that was our Friday night.  We couldn’t help, but laugh our asses off at all the ridiculous things we all had in common.  It was like old times, back in high school even, when life just wasn’t that important yet.  D left at a time that is now easily forgettable and it was at that point I spotted a good friend of mine that couldn’t walk from her seat at the bar to the front door without falling over.  Her plan was to drive home.  So being the good Samaritan that I am, I tell her that I will be driving her home because I didn’t feel like finding her name in the obituaries the next day.  After a little hassle she turned over the keys to me. She owned a mini cooper, score! It was automatic though…..pussy.  We made our way across town to the lovely home that she lived in, it was now around 2 am.  The roads we needed to travel were all 30 mph roads with cops placed at every corner.

Long story short, 2 hours later we found ourselves back at my apartment with our sanity barely intact.  There is always a benefit to being the only sober person within miles of the party.  1) You get to report back to everyone in the morning and verify that they did in fact throw up all over that waitress.  2) Everyone arrives safely on that trip from point A to point B.  No one ever said it was easy though.  Sometimes the details in the middle can be hard to take.  I found that all those years I spent at the bottom of a bottle of Jack Daniels were a fucking joke.  Some of the shit that must of come out of my mouth and thinking that I smooth about it all.  Makes me laugh and cry all at the same time.

The morning after is always the toughest for everyone.  The sober ones just want to get the day moving and the hung over ones just want to prolong the day as much as possible.  I was guilty as the next guy when it came to pushing off the beginning of my days in college.  We eventually started the day around 1030 am or so and made our way to breakfast, B, J and myself.  The rest of the day we spent playing the waiting game.  Tonight was the night that we sunk to our lowest.  We were going to the Gold Club.  For those of you who are not familiar with the Gold Club, it is a Gentleman’s Club near where I live.  The place was wall to wall dude sweat, with dragon tee’s for as far as the eye could see and also a hand full of pedophiles to boot.  Now, I’m thinking that once you cross the threshold of a place like this, you are no longer a normal individual, but if I were to create a standard of normal, it would be J and I sitting relatively quite at the stage with a Guinness and Sam Boston Lager in hand with a handful of singles.  Tonight must have been a special night because two of the girls, they were a pair, spun from the poles on center stage like something of the NC-17 Barnum and Bailey’s act.  at one point they spun around the pole holding on by ONLY their crotch.  And with a tattoo like Ride or Die above their belly button I know she meant business.  Unlike the other girl who made small talk with us about stuffy and dirty it felt inside.  I quickly responded back by saying, “Yea your right, normally it feels so clean in here!”  She didn’t get it unfortunately.

Sunday I spent time reflecting.  All the times spent with these guys, even after high school and all the crazy shit we’d pull.  This weekend was a sign that it didn’t have to end because we had become “adults.”  On the contrary, we had just found new ways to entertain ourselves.  Friendships come and they go, fleeting sometimes, but no matter what we learn from all the people we meet and situations we are in.  All the assholes from our high school class that we are so glad we never see anymore, I can’t help but thank them.  Thank you for making me who I am.  The host or hostess that we see and are friends with for only a day or two, thank you for making see who I really am inside.  How about the poor man at the bus stop that asks for money because he has none, but then answers his cell phone.  Live and learn.

side note: the truth is, you could slit my throat..and with my one last gasping breath I’d apologize for bleeding on your shirt.

Snowboarding was fun.  Being that I have been on a snowboard since I was about 12 or 13 years old, it’s pretty much second nature at this point.  The other two guys I was with made my experience much more enjoyable though.  One, a telemark skier, with 45 years experience, and the other a snowboarder, like myself with about a weeks experience.  The snowboarder and my superior with minimal riding experience kept us all laughing.   He showed us how fearless he really was, sometimes at the cost of wiping out.  I often times enjoy mogul fields.  So we took the mogul field trail, but they were more like giant chunks of ice covered in a think layer of snow.  I would drop in and ride 50 feet at a time and turn and watch the magic happen.  With only a weeks worth of experience he did better than I thought, that meaning he attempted to ride down…at his butt.  He wasn’t having it and when he finally did try and wiped out pretty good rolling down onto the flats below, board in the air and snow all over the place, your typical “yard sale” as they say.  On our next run we decided to a run through the terrain park just to see what it had to offer.  Well at this point our novice snowboarding friend though it would be a good idea to try and hit a jump.  He couldn’t hardly stop and lost control of himself and almost ended up in a 30 foot ditch in the middle of a forest.  He clung to the side of the trail for dear life like he was dangling from the edge of the Grand Canyon.

It was a very comical night, all in all.  Had a great time with people I like to be around.  My work load was some what lifted from my shoulders, leaving only a little bit for the remainder of the week.  I fell asleep in .5 seconds to the best playlist the Genius took has ever created for me.  Thank you Apple, I love you.  From the reports it looks like the next few days won’t be great weather wise so hopefully I’ll have some stories to tell.

side note: reminder – if the nachos are stuck together, that’s one nacho.

Now I don’t want anyone to get too excited.  I am not talking about a black out filled with endless amounts of booze and women that ended praying to the porcelain gods.  No, no, It absolutely amazed me the things that were taking place this weekend.  The massive flow of people seeking a discount, but also out to discover a brand new place they never knew existed.  Perhaps they just needed one more incentive to get them out the door.  Either way, it was a mad house.

People flowing like the endless tides of the ocean.  Emotions as hot as a summers bonfire and cold as the north Atlantic in January all mixed together.  Missing people here, extra people there and just not enough to ever catch up with what you need to finish.  What happened to the days where everything just fell into place?  Oh yea, they never existed.

Friday, Saturday are a blur.  They feel like the same day.  Do you remember the last time you worked so hard at work that had to black everything.  Whether good because you accomplished so much or bad because you nearly jammed a Dixon Ticonderoga No. 2 pencil into the annoying fat woman in the cubical next to you who likes to talk about her grand kids for hours on end.  From the moment I arrived at work on Friday until I left work on Saturday it felt like the same day.  The feeling in my feet on Saturday was enough pain for both Friday and Saturday.  I can’t fully describe what happened on those two days, because to be quite honest, I’m not 100% sure what did happen.

Whats so good about a weekend like that? Well, generally, especially in the restaurant business, so many people come in to explore a new place you hope to hold onto some of those gracious customers that, hopefully, just found the new cool place to hang out.  It’s great to come out on top in a weekend like that and say, fuck yea, I just made that weekend my bitch.  Everyone happy, check, made money, check, ready for next week, check.  Because even though you envisioned yourself ripping off the customers head, who tried telling you they’d been waiting for 30 minutes when you have written your sheet that they’ve been there 10 minutes, you swallowed hard and kept a smile and kindly seated them next and all were happy.  Not to mention the good laugh you and the rest of the crowd had at the expense of your sanity.

The only left to do at the end of such a day is to finally to take that well earned seat.  Your butt sinks into every inch of the fabric and you let out a sigh of relief.  A few co-workers walk by, some that you practically tried to drown in the fry-o-lator, and you slap hands with them all.  Closing time.

side note: remember all those things we used to do as a kid that were so cool and now that we are older we have lost interest in those tasks…..sad.

Lesson One: Men are not very bright.  Anything of the opposite sex that shows attention in the smallest of ways is going to grab our attention.  A small wave or wink or even “the eye” is a green light to us to use or infinite supply of cheesy pick-up lines that we know don’t work anyway.

Lesson Two: The bar is the place we go when the brain in our head ceases to create any sort of luck in the dating/relationship world.  Brain #2 takes over and we feed it with all the alcohol in the world.  We believe that the more booze we put in our system the easier it is to talk to women and the smoother we are at doing it.  Sometimes we are successful, but considering the mental deficiency that we have caused for ourselves with all the alcohol we’ve ingested our prey has become exponentially more uninteresting, and sometimes unattractive, then we would normally subject ourselves to.  That said, if you have entered a bar to re-enter the dating scene, you might as well walk right now, because this is not the place to do it.

Final Lesson: Play hard to get. If you really want to see if the guy is worth it, play with him.  See if you can keep his interest for more than 30 seconds while you bend over to pick up your clutch you just dropped.  Any guy worth his weight in gold will keep up with your games or pursue you outside the bar scene if he is genuinely interested.

This was the biggest thing on my mind.  Work lasted until 10 pm and I immediately went home and watched the end of “Screamers” which is the absolute worst movie ever.  Upon finishing the movie I attempted to fully write this post last night, but I began falling asleep and postponed until this morning.

I would like to say one thing thought, remember those little bouncy balls?  The ones that you would get out of the quarter machine at K-Mart?  Was it just me or did everyone pick a small room and through them as hard as you could against the wall and watch it bounce everywhere.  Garages were great if they were all concrete…they would bounce forever!!  It’s the little things in life that excite me.

side note: any douche bag who denies any of this is either lying to himself or never been laid.

side note #2: for the women who go to the bar just to get laid, give it up, you are about, or will be about, as useful as the Shake Weight.

I finished Shutter Island! The book is amazing and everyone should see it.  Absolutely amazing, wouldn’t have predicted that ending and now can’t wait to see the movie.

So today I ran into something interesting.  I was making a joke today with someone who frequents my restaurant.  He likes his burger bleeding.  So I said, “‘G’ likes his burger bleeding…Like it’ll probably kick you in the mouth when you bite it.”  His friends, who had been in before, laughed and made their own analogies along with me.  The friend to his right on the other hand stared at me and gave me that, “Umm-do-you-even-know-him?” look.  Or perhaps it was, “Those-aren’t-the-kind-of-jokes-we-make” look.  You know exactly when you receive this kind of luck and there isn’t nothing pleasant about it.  Someone who feels like you have just trespassed on the sacred ground of their friendship.  You no doubt have guessed that it took every inch of me to remain filtered and not call her out on the look.

On the lighter side of the news I was driving home and say a taxi cab in someone’s front lawn.  Yea, someone should tell him that the pick people on the side of the road.  There is no need to come right to do the door.  I hope everyone is alright, but I did chuckle, I won’t lie.

The moon is truly amazing tonight.  I wonder how many stories on the news tomorrow will begin with, “Last nights full moon brings crime to Hartford.”  It makes me laugh whenever they use urban legends for actual news.  It’s like do you honestly believe that the full moon had anything to do with it, or was that your lame attempt at being original?

Bottom line, I’m here to have fun and have a bunch of laughs anything less is a waste of my time.

side note: i saw a person today that was so large that they resembled the Michelin man. just think for a minute at how fat that really is.

side note#2: i love when people complain about something that totally doesn’t matter, like coffee at a restaurant that clearly shouldn’t have coffee.  this isn’t a coffee house, chill out, i’m not about to import kona beans so you can sit there and only drink a half a cup and let the rest get cold.  bad coffee?  hold on let me find someone who gives a crap…nope sorry can’t find ‘em.

side note #3: you can eff off.  i’ll have as many side notes as I damn well please.

side note #4: don’t forget to remind me, not to forget to remind me, to forget that you need to remind me, to forget reminding you….

Thursday: Today’s topic…friends.  Today I had the pleasure of spending a few hours with Brian Marquis.  A good friend from high school.  I haven’t seen him in a while, but today I went home and needed to pick a few provisions.  He was in between tours and had juts finished moving himself and his mother to their new house.  I called him up and we made a trip out to Waterbury so he could meet up with some random hero from craigslist.  After meeting this guy we headed into the Olive Garden and sat down for some lunch.  Two very tall Sam Adams Winter Lagers and bottomless salads soups and bread sticks.  I’m not sure if any of you have had this, but my god is it worth the money.  The salads are good, the soup selection is lacking, but still good and the bread sticks are nothing short of amazing.  Brian introduced me to the Alfredo sauce to dip the bread sticks in…genius.

The day consisted of exchanging stories of all the things we had been up to the past few months, current ventures, and our currently ambiguous plans for the future, however fantastical they seemed now.  I, much like Brian, have always thought outside the box and wanted to push the limits of my own creativity.  To really look inside myself and see what it is that I truly love to do.  Brian, unlike myself, has always done exactly what he loves and is still doing that, no matter much of a “starving artist” that he may be.  I couldn’t respect him and and his peers any more for being that way.  There ambition has helped me pick myself up from my bootstraps every time I felt that things couldn’t get any tougher.

Brian and “his peers” as I mentioned before make up the band, Therefore I Am.  If you haven’t heard them, check them out on iTunes and the infinite amount of outlets around the web.  They now have a CD in stores that you can purchase.  These guys have ambition and a love for what they do that surpasses anyone I have ever met.  The kind of people that make you want to go out and be all you can be after talking to them for 5 minutes.  I know you have run into these people just as I have.

It seemed like we drove all over creation that day and talked about everything there was about life and the people we grew up with and the parties we had rocked and perhaps some things that will remain unspoken until our dying days.  It would only be appropriate that when I dropped him off that we’d have that awkward salutation where we don’t know if we are going to do the fist bump or handshake and we both flip flopped 3 or 4 times.  I guess, that pretty much summed up all that we are though, I was happy with it.

Check out their blog, www.thesoundofhumanlives.blogspot.com – Discussion of everyday topics from the guys that bring you the not-so-everyday rock ‘n roll*.

side note:  Not everyone on craigslist looks like a child molester.

*footnote: Ever notice how the term Rock ‘N Roll is used very loosely, almost never at all….

But, all hope is not lost because I will still humor the ladies and have a great evening out somewhere.

So…Hair Cut!  Have you seen it yet?  Don’t worry you aren’t missing much, it’s not like I shaved my head or anything.  It does, however, look like I through away an entire wig when you look in my trash can.  Seems that everyone likes it that has seen it so far.  “A” thank you so much for a wonderful job with the sheep shears and also for giving me the comb.  Ya know, to me, getting a hair cut is like finding a brand new suit to wear to the office.  I mean, I don’t wear suits, but I know that if I did the feeling would be the same.

I had dinner with my two bosses tonight.  It was definitely a good time.  A couple rounds of beer and two pizza’s.  I can’t leave out the lettuce wraps either, they were so-so.  I have acquired an affinity for going into different restaurants and comparing them to my own. It’s nice to see if I can make improvements based on  what others are doing.

I know this is from yesterday, but I had to share this anyways because it happened late last night.  I ordered domino’s because I’m a fat ass.  I asked them to deliver to my back door, because that is where my entrance is and they should call me when they arrive.  30 minutes later there is a strange man standing in my kitchen holding my pizza and cheesy bread.  Now, I don’t know about you, but it’s not okay that you just let yourself in to someones house.  Please stay outside the door until I let you open the door, pay my bill, and take my merchandise with me.  At no point should you enter my residence, unless of course you brought ingredients to make my pizza here.  Bottom line, creepy.

side note: there is something to be said about a dominos man that let’s himself into a strange home. im not sure what that is.

Shutter Island.  I just acquired the audio book and I can’t stop listening to it.  Why an audio book? Well to put it simply, I can’t read a book and do my job at the same time, but I can listen to the audio book and do my job.  Any who, I’m hoping that this movie will be a better adaptation than, The Lovely Bones.  If I haven’t already said it to you then listen up.  If you enjoyed the book do NOT see the movie.  The two hardly share common ground for more than a minute at any  given time.  Safe yourself the extra grief, time, and money and watch re-runs of Family Guy on hulu.

Oh yea, and mail came for me today, but it was addressed to the other manager.  How many times do you have to meet someone before you should know there name? Two…Three times at the absolute maximum.  This guys still insists that I’m someone I’m clearly not.  Myself and this other person do not share any physical attributes by any stretch of the imagination.  It’s like me confusing Amy Winehouse and Beyonce, one is CLEARLY not the other, nor would you ever assume one could be the other.

Today, I became severely overtired.  My body was working so fast for so long and now I was mentally exhausted.  “D” and I spent a a few moments laughing at everything we looked at and made up a few ridiculous scenerios.

I have also decided that 2010 is going to be my year to be a little more green.  I think it’s time I stepped up to the plate and played my part.  I spent the day thinking about it and really am excited to refine my lifestyle.  Fact is, we aren’t doing all that we can to help our environment.  It’s the same idea of using bow and arrow tactics with nuclear weapons.

I just turned on a song I haven’t listened to in a long time (1 month).  I have planned a project to this along with a few other songs.

side note: Back Zit <— i challange you to eat a large breakfast, lunch, or dinner and watch this and NOT vomit…can’t be done.

They got a mirror full of caine in the bathroom
because nobody here knows when to stop
for now we’re just making out with the door unlocked
back in the atrium the music’s slowing down
the party’s thinning out for the late crowd
fixes her lipstick, fixes his belt
the coast is clear as he walks out

Minus the Bear – Into the Mirror

I had lunch with my mom and uncle today.  We went to an “American Joint” in the center of town.  I chose to inhale the corned beef reuben.  I haven’t seen my mom in a few weeks and my uncle in probably a few months.  It was great catching up with them.

I had two meetings after that, one discussing marketing my restaurant and the other to create a brand new television show.  We are making head way and let’s just say, for now, that it concerns a restaurant.  Studios would be foolish to NOT pick this show up when it’s completed.  Maybe some more details later…can’t divulge any more at this time.

As I left my meeting, I crossed the street and was immediately verbally accosted by some random hero about a situation up the street.  I can see cop cars and a fire truck.  I’m minding my own business and don’t really give a crap about whats going on.  My thought was that the fire alarm went off at the pizza place.  This man informed me that someone was hit by a car on a bike and the guy who hit the biker was the owner of the pizza place.  This guy said his peace, didn’t let me get a word in and continued on his way.  I watched him for a moment as he walked towards the scene.  He stopped everyone in his path to tell them about it.

I worked today. It was my day off, but they needed help any way.  Working in the kitchen isn’t glorious work, but I enjoy hanging with the guys every once and a why and making them laugh.  I can only take the estrogen factory out front so much during the week.  The best part of cooking is seeing what you can actually come up with.  Seeing the finished product and knowing that YOU put your heart and soul into it

Ever try and think about what you did during the day only to find that you can’t remember anything good about it. That’s me right now.  It’s okay some days are just more interesting than others.  I’m feeling a good one for tomorrow.

side note: i hate when people randomly tell me a story and they refer to people that i have never met by name.  the worst part is they don’t preface anything by saying “oh sam, who i met and college and dated for 6 months” It just comes out at as, “yea sam called me yesterday and said we are through”…who the fuck are you talking about? and why do you think i care?