tomshaggy.com | seeing what you thought you didn't see

This morning I spent the better part of an hour reading one of the best stories I have ever read.  “L” sent me a link to a story that she thought I might enjoy, she couldn’t have been more right.  The story chronicles the life of a girl who was diagnosed with an disease, which at the time was unknown to doctors, called Chronic Fatigue Disorder.  It was misdiagnosed for years and the people who she looked to for support, her doctors, constantly turned her away by suggesting that it was only in her head.  She grew tired of being told that what she was experiencing was all under her control and she lived her life the best she could without the support of doctors.  It wasn’t until years later after many misdiagnoses that she was able to finally make steps towards a successful future for herself.

The story, which is called, A Sudden Illness is by Lauren Hillenbrand.

The story hit very close to home with me.  Through most of the story I spent a good amount of time with an “apple in my throat.”  I know what it is like to sit in front of a doctor with little or no information on the disease you have and expect them to explain it to you.  For the longest time I didn’t want to see my doctor.  He made me feel uncomfortable, like I was bothering him by being in his office.  He wouldn’t look at me when I was there and if he did then it was a look of disgust like I had not able to rationally connect thoughts.  I always thought doctors would be there for me and be on my side.  The one person I needed to go to in order to get better and live my life normally was the one person that I couldn’t talk to or confide in. The saddest part for me was that like this guy was continually trying to punish me for having too much fun in my life.  Like he didn’t have kids so he wanted to “spank” me by acting disappointed in me all the time.  I never felt that he was actually helping me get better, but rather, teaching me a lesson.

what makes you cry?

(Eric Clapton – Tears in Heaven)

side note: otherwise, this was the most boring day….ever.