tomshaggy.com | seeing what you thought you didn't see

The final day of January.  I actually had a good day, filled with plenty of laughs and several hours of work.  The day started out with “L” telling me about a guy she had had an “incident” with at the club.  She said that I realized last night that you can’t joke around with guys at a club.  At first, I wasn’t exactly sure what she was talking about, but then she clarified her actions towards the unsuspecting male.  As a guy was walking away from her general vicinity she gave him a little wave, he immediately halted and turned back around and headed back towards her. Her “oh-shit” reaction was more than likely written all over her face was not enough to turn this guy away.  Instead, the guy continued to approach her with the “SCORE!” look on his face.

Lesson One: Men are not very bright.  Anything of the opposite sex that shows attention in the smallest of ways is going to grab our attention.  A small wave or wink or even “the eye” is a green light to us to use or infinite supply of cheesy pick-up lines that we know don’t work anyway.

Lesson Two: The bar is the place we go when the brain in our head ceases to create any sort of luck in the dating/relationship world.  Brain #2 takes over and we feed it with all the alcohol in the world.  We believe that the more booze we put in our system the easier it is to talk to women and the smoother we are at doing it.  Sometimes we are successful, but considering the mental deficiency that we have caused for ourselves with all the alcohol we’ve ingested our prey has become exponentially more uninteresting, and sometimes unattractive, then we would normally subject ourselves to.  That said, if you have entered a bar to re-enter the dating scene, you might as well walk right now, because this is not the place to do it.

Final Lesson: Play hard to get. If you really want to see if the guy is worth it, play with him.  See if you can keep his interest for more than 30 seconds while you bend over to pick up your clutch you just dropped.  Any guy worth his weight in gold will keep up with your games or pursue you outside the bar scene if he is genuinely interested.

This was the biggest thing on my mind.  Work lasted until 10 pm and I immediately went home and watched the end of “Screamers” which is the absolute worst movie ever.  Upon finishing the movie I attempted to fully write this post last night, but I began falling asleep and postponed until this morning.

I would like to say one thing thought, remember those little bouncy balls?  The ones that you would get out of the quarter machine at K-Mart?  Was it just me or did everyone pick a small room and through them as hard as you could against the wall and watch it bounce everywhere.  Garages were great if they were all concrete…they would bounce forever!!  It’s the little things in life that excite me.

side note: any douche bag who denies any of this is either lying to himself or never been laid.

side note #2: for the women who go to the bar just to get laid, give it up, you are about, or will be about, as useful as the Shake Weight.